Top Two Set-Ups of 2012
- Uncle Cesar volunteering to make my Christianmingle.com profile
- The LA County building inspector (who was inspecting the pipes that lead up to our house, whom I only met 15 minutes prior) offering to set me up with a Christian Filipino Doctor.
Although filled with embarrassment and outright hilarity, I find comfort in the fact that even these random set-ups realize that my future *God-willing* mate should be a Believer.
My satisfaction is found in Him, not on the presence of a pursuer, excellence in my job, acceptance of my feeble attempt at social media, nor the latest trendy outfit. Changes are made to be a better follower of Christ in the life He has called me to, no matter what He calls me to next. I need to live a life pure and blameless for my Holy God, completely relying on the Holy Spirit and help from the Body to keep my body & mind pure. I should excuse myself from certain conversations, situations and unknowing people that cause me to stumble. I am at peace because He knows my innermost and unspeakable thoughts and has a plan for me.
There's so much more, but I'll stop for now.
I pray that you're clinging to Him as much as I am.
On a more serious note, the following are some of my singleness reflections-
- Satisfied. He is my portion. My contentment is found in Him. No leftovers, no back for seconds. He is it. And He is more than enough. Every thing, every one else is ... not my God.
- Endgame. Marriage is not my goal, Christlikeness is. So while learning how to cook, speaking with grace, being better with finances, planning my time and many other qualities may prepare me for a life of marriage, I hope these are equipping me to live a better life worthy of His calling NOW. I cringe with the phrase "time of preparation" (even when I say it) because it makes me think that the present is belittled with the prospect of the future. I want to be a woman after God's own heart NOW, later definitely but especially now. I want to be a good sister-in-Christ, willing teacher, better daughter now. Yes, I have hope for the future just as I have hope for the present, but I remember that tomorrow is not promised.
- Clean up. My purity is not just for my *God-willing* husband, it is for my Lord. I. Am. Not. Perfect. Amy Grace is horribly sinful. But that doesn't mean that I cannot strive to be pure for my God in the here and now. Yes, I want to be pure for my *God-willing* husband, but that comes secondary compared to living a pure and blameless life for my holy God. I cannot depend on myself to do it because I fail. I need to rely on the Holy Spirit for help every single minute and blessed accountability of Believers for encouragement.
- Bad joke. My mind is feeble and susceptible to suggestions. Although I am not bothered by jokes for future husbands and am more amused than angry if someone sets me up. In fact, when jokes are made about my singleness or my *God-willing* wedding and mate, I join in with a few jabs myself. But later on, the same words echo and stir emotions, they have lasting affects. It is in these spiraling times that my mind is most susceptible to stumble - from contentment to coveting a different life. I always ask the kids "are you helping or hurting?" and it is this decision-making that has helped me to guard my heart from certain conversations, situations, and unknowing people that have caused me to stumble. This has also helped me to watch my words when speaking with other people who are single, knowing that even the slightest jest could cause someone to stumble.
- Known. The Lord knows. He knows how I am feeling even more than I do, which is wonderful because I can barely understand it. Even more, He knows what is in my future. He knows my heart and my desires, but He also knows what is best. Perhaps I am meant to live a life of singleness. Perhaps my *God-willing* husband is dating someone else right now. Perhaps this and perhaps that. Blah. I am so glad that God has known me before time, planned my present and wills my future. I am so glad that Christ has walked these human steps and was victorious. I am relieved to utter the deepest parts of my soul, incoherently even, and He understands. I am happy to be known by Him.
My satisfaction is found in Him, not on the presence of a pursuer, excellence in my job, acceptance of my feeble attempt at social media, nor the latest trendy outfit. Changes are made to be a better follower of Christ in the life He has called me to, no matter what He calls me to next. I need to live a life pure and blameless for my Holy God, completely relying on the Holy Spirit and help from the Body to keep my body & mind pure. I should excuse myself from certain conversations, situations and unknowing people that cause me to stumble. I am at peace because He knows my innermost and unspeakable thoughts and has a plan for me.
Bible chapters that have helped me in my most impatient & difficult moments: Psalm 27, Jeremiah 17 John 16, Romans 8, 1 Peter 5
There's so much more, but I'll stop for now.
I pray that you're clinging to Him as much as I am.
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