“But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.”

In the midst of studying for two exams, writing research papers, keeping up with reading for my classes, and preparing for a presentation, I felt accomplished and ready for the day before me. I even made it a point to get up early, despite the long night studying, to have a short devotion. Then, the pastor during chapel last Thursday shared from Revelation 2:1-7.

The church in Ephesus was commended for their works, toil, patient endurance, intolerance for evil and many other great qualities that should be found in a body of believers. BUT, despite all their service, steadfastness and sacrifices, they had one thing against them – they abandoned their first love. That first passion one has for Christ, the fervor one feels when they first believe, the enthusiasm for the furtherance of His kingdom was gone.

In a few short days, I went from spending every moment I could in His Word and growing to Him to striving to make time for Him because of my circumstances. I suppose it doesn’t seem like a big deal- I got busy for a few days and God understands that I’m ultimately doing this to be equipped for His ministry. WRONG, Amy Grace, IT IS A VERY BIG DEAL.

In the past seven days so much has happened that it was hard to pinpoint a moment to share in this post. But despite all the difficulties, excitement, ups and downs I have experienced this week, this moment – this slap to my face, mind, heart and soul – this reminder to never abandon my first and only Love (my God and Creator, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, my ultimate Sustainer in the Holy Spirit) must be shared.

Sure, I may have gotten a good grade on a test. Yes, I may have taught my first Sunday School lesson. Perhaps I have shown my decent character and joy I have to my peers. But what has been lost and what has been forgotten in the process? These good things should be a result of my love of Christ, they should not count as my love of Christ. I have been in Baguio for exactly one month now and these blogs of mine seem to revolve around the same theme: the joint venture of Christian education and Christian practice; the combining of knowledge of the Bible and the action that comes afterward; the love of Christ in wanting to know Him more and act like Him more by loving those around me. Why is that?

At one point, I did not experience this love even though I claimed I did. There was a certain time that the love of Christ was in my mind but not my heart. There was even a point that I was on the brink of believing and trusting in this true love but there was something suppressing me. Then, this love I had overwhelmed me so much that I could not help but be simultaneously convicted and encouraged to grow in it. And now, as the church of Ephesus, I have done as many “good” things as I could but have forsaken my first love. All I can share is that all else fades in comparison to the love of Christ. (1 John 4)

Please keep me in your prayers!

<3 Amy Grace